To Satisfy

What exactly does that verb mean? To make content? Or is it to fulfill until there is no more room for improvement? Is it to make happy or just to make at peace? Is it merely to quell the distress of the heart? Are you truly satisfying a person if you have to 'keep' them satisfied? If you have to go back every once in awhile, and prove your worth again?

I have heard this verb used in so many ways in the world. Good ways and bad ways. The ability to be satisfied has moved from a virtue to a defect and back so many times that really I tend to stay away from the word altogether. At least, in any original form. Any writer in the room must raise their hand and admit that they have fallen into cliche's from time to time, using weary phrases and techniques as well as developing their own.

Anyway, I only thought of this because I used this particular word in my facebook status only a few minutes ago and...well:

'Good day, then bad day, then worse day, then busy day, then great day, then complicated day, then wonderful day. Funny how the most satisfying days are the ones you can't quite define.'

Obviously, to my deeper self, to satisfy is not strictly to make happy. Today was not a happy day, for the most part. It was filled with disappointment and irrational anger and trying to vent to a friend who had to leave soon (No, I don't blame the friend at all. In fact, I'm thankful that he tried to help during the little time he had.). In all honesty, the only excuse I have for being so out of sorts today is that the entire household has been tense for several weeks now.

This is, I learned quite a lesson today, and not from any particular thing. Just...the entire day. I was so miserable at the beginning, and the end was so helpful and fun and relaxing, showing me that love lasts forever, even if you lose the person you love for a time. Showing me that no matter how hard things seem at first, God always has something wonderful coming for you at the end of it. That he does have a plan and he does want you to be happy. And really, things aren't as dire as they appear in the moment. Things pass. Everything passes in this life. That's what makes the bad bearable and the good precious.

So yeah. Tonight, I am satisfied. I am satisfied because I have given up everything, all my rights, and allowed both good and bad to happen and pass and shape me. Because no, I'm not important, but I am sustained. I am loved.