Watermelon Gum

I was writing when I made this realization. At the time is was merely a fabrication--an image of the deepest, greatest happiness in the fictional life of one of my fictional characters--but when I thought back to it, it all struck me at once. It was so simple! It was an embodiment of what I've always wished I had, of the comfort and security and peace I always strive in vain to achieve. However, I believe I'm getting ahead of myself--will you take a walk with me?

”I was six. It was a few weeks after my birthday, and to celebrate, my mother took me to Myrtle Beach, in South Carolina. Just me and her. We'd been driving all the day before, so she was tired, but I wanted to explore. I ran off up the beach without her, and I didn't stop for a long time. Eventually, I got lost, and forgot where she was. But a young man had noticed me, and before I was able to panic he came up to me and asked me if I liked watermelon gum. I said no, and he said that was good, cause he didn't have any. After that, he told me jokes and played little rhyming games with me while he led me down the beach, every once and awhile reminding me to keep a look out for my mom. He didn't touch me, and he didn't ask me what my name was or give me his. All he did was entertain me for an hour or two while we found my mother again. I don't even know why, but I was happier that day than I've ever been. Sometimes I wish I could take a break from my life and go back to walking along the beach, laughing at stupid jokes.”

...It's hard to start. Have any of you ever been so worried about the future, hurt by the past, and fearful of the present that you had no room to breath? That anxiety creeps into your very soul spreads and mingles with all of you triggers--your fears, your desires, and those thing which you despise deepest of all. You can't think, and you can't breath, and finally you succumb to the feeling, just enough so that you can keep your head above water--just enough so that you've created wall inside yourself. And you think you're ok, for awhile. Whenever that memory, or subject, or worry comes up you just stuff it behind your wall and build it higher and stronger. You can laugh, and think, but some of the foulness you've been keeping within yourself will inevitable leak into everything you do and say and see. You get so that you don't even think about it anymore and you run as fast as you can, hoping you can just leave it behind somewhere. But you can't.

That story there? It came from somewhere inside of me. A longing for a distraction, elevated beyond my world and my troubles, brought this into what I wrote. And now I see: that young man is Jesus. He steps into my life when I feel I'm about to collapse and distracts me--with a friend, with a joke, with a game, and especially with himself. And I trust him, though I don't know him. I'm so small, and couldn't possibly know him. But I love him, and I love his jokes and his smile, and the way he keeps me safe keeps reminding me to look for my 'mother', who is my Father, who is God. Everything'll be better when I'm with God.

So right now, I'm walking along the beach with Jesus. Every so often, like the tiny child I am, I'll turn away from him for a second to look at something else. Sometimes, even, I'll leave his side completely and try to do something else to entertain myself, and just when I'm starting to realize that I've gotten myself into a horrible mess, he asks me whether I like watermelon gum. I say no. He says good. 'Cause he doesn't have any. He just has the good, healthy, satisfying stuff.

Being with Jesus is being a small child. In that moment, you're just looking at Him and enjoying Him, and trusting that nothing around you can hurt you while He's there. Nothing in your past or future could ever matter or bother you--He loves you. And He doesn't force you into anything, He just stays by your side, watching when you wander, and smiling while you're with Him. He is ever patient, always kind, all knowing, always loving, forever smiling, amazing comfort. The only thing that could ever hurt me while I'm with Him is knowing that someone else isn't.

So let me ask you: Do you like watermelon gum?

Well that's good; Jesus only has the good stuff.